Smiling like Sunshine: Cosleeping and transition to own bed

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Cosleeping and transition to own bed

Welcome to the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival

This post is included in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival hosted by Monkey Butt Junction . Our bloggers have written on so many different aspects of cosleeping. Please read to
the end to find a list of links to the other carnival


My 4 1/2 year daughter has just started sleeping in her own room, in her own bed. I have been sleeping with her since day one and while I love that she's growing up, I also miss her.
Last year, when she was 3 years old, she decided to sleep in her own room and did for a while. But then, we moved. We were living in a flat before and in this Victorian house, she didn't like the idea of the bedrooms being upstairs and we sitting downstairs in the living room during the night. She said she felt lonely upstairs. So we said it's okay to cosleep if that is what she needs.
Last week, just out of the blue, she said that she wants to sleep in her bedroom and since then, she does indeed. She is very proud of herself and tells everyone about it ; )
I have always believed in trusting the children and meeting their needs. Cosleeping made our lives much easier, especially when she was still breastfeeding at night.
Some people get anxious about cosleeping thinking the child will never sleep on her own. Especially new mums, which is very normal, as cosleeping is generally frowned upon in today's culture.
Most children who sleep in their own bedrooms, visit  their parent's bedroom during the night.They want to sleep with them. I, personally remember crawling into my parent's bed when I was little. Apparently children crave the closeness and security.
So there we go. When my son wakes me up in the night, I  often go and check if the duvet is still on my daughter.Before I know it, he will go and sleep with his sister in the bunk bed.

Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival

Thanks for reading a post in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival. On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the #CosleepCar hashtag.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
  • Emotive Co-Sleeping Campaign - Miriam at Diary of an Unconscious Mother talks about her feelings on Milwaukee’s anti-cosleeping crusade and its latest advertising campaign.
  • Why Cosleeping has Always been the Right Choice for My Family - Patti at Jazzy Mama shares how lucky she feels to have the privilege of sleeping with her four children.
  • Cosleeping is a safe, natural and healthy solution parents need to feel good about. - See how Tilly at Silly Blatherings set up a side-car crib configuration to meet her and her families' needs.
  • Black and White: Race and the Cosleeping Wars - Moorea at Mama Lady: Adventures in Queer Parenting points out the problem of race, class and health when addressing co-sleeping deaths and calls to action better sleep education and breastfeeding support in underprivileged communities.
  • Reflections on Cosleeping - Jenny at I’m a Full Time Mummy shares her thoughts on cosleeping and pictures of her cosleeping beauties.
  • Cosleeping and Transitioning to Own Bed - Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine shares her experiences in moving beyond the family bed.
  • What Works for One Family - Momma Jorje shares why cosleeping is for her and why she feels it is the natural way to go. She also discusses the actual dangers and explores why it may not be for everyone.
  • Really High Beds, Co-Sleeping Safely, and the Humanity Family Sleeper - Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama gives a quick view of Jennifer’s bed-sharing journey and highlights the Humanity Family Sleeper, something Jennifer could not imagine bed-sharing without.
  • Crying in Our Family Bed - With such a sweet newborn, why has adding Ailia to the family bed made Dionna at Code Name: Mama cry?
  • Dear Mama: - Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares a letter from the viewpoint of her youngest son about cosleeping.
  • Cuddle up, Buttercup! - Nada of The MiniMOMist and her husband Michael have enjoyed cosleeping with their daughter Naomi almost since birth. Nada shares why the phrase "Cuddle up, Buttercup!" has such special significance to her.
  • Co-Sleeping With A Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler - Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how co-sleeping calls us to trust our inner maternal wisdom and embrace the safety and comfort of the family bed.
  • Fear instead of Facts: An Opportunity Squandered in Milwaukee - Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction discusses Milwaukee’s missed opportunity to educate on safe cosleeping.
  • Cosleeping: A Mini-rant and a Lovely Picture - Siobhan at Res Ipsa Loquitor discusses her conversion to cosleeping and rants a little bit about the Milwaukee Health Department anti-cosleeping campaign.
  • Our Cosleeping Story - Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares her cosleeping story and the many bonus side effects of bedsharing.
  • Cosleeping can be safe and rewarding Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares how her cosleeping experiences have been good for her family.
  • Adding one more to the family bed Lauren at Hobo Mama discusses the safety logistics of bed sharing with a new baby and a preschooler.
  • The Truth About Bedsharing - Dr. Sarah at Parenting Myths and Facts discusses the research into bedsharing and risk - and explains why it is so often misrepresented.
  • Cosleeping as a parenting survival tool - Melissa V. at Mothers of Change describes how she discovered cosleeping when her first baby was born. Melissa is the editor and a board member for the Canadian birth advocacy group, Mothers of Change.
  • Dear Delilah - Joella at Fine and Fair writes about her family bed and the process of finding the cosleeping arrangements that work best for her family.
  • CoSleeping ROCKS! - Melissa at White Noise talks about the evolution of cosleeping in her family.
  • Safe Sleep is a Choice - Tamara at Pea Wee Baby talks about safe sleep guidelines.
  • 3 Babies Later: The Evolution of our Family Bed - Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment talks about how her family’s cosleeping arrangements evolved as her family grew.
  • Tender Moments - The Accidental Natural Mama discusses tender cosleeping moments.
  • Cosleeping Experiences - Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure describes how she ended up co-sleeping with her daughter through necessity, despite having no knowledge of the risks involved and how to minimise them, and wishes more information were made available to help parents co-sleep safely.
  • The early days of bedsharing - Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares her early memories of bedsharing with her then new born and gets excited as she plans including their new arrival into their sleeping arrangements.
  • The Joys of Cosleeping in Pictures - Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares pictures of some of her favorite cosleeping moments.
  • Symbiotic Sleep - Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children discusses how the symbiotic cosleeping relationship benefits not only children but also parents.
  • Co-sleeping Barriers: What’s Stopping You? - Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she was almost prevented from gaining the benefits of co-sleeping her family currently enjoys.
  • Co-Sleeping with the Family Humanity Sleeper - Erica at ChildOrganics shares a way to make co-sleeping safe, comfortable and more convenient. Check out her post featuring the Humanity Organic Family Sleeper.
  • Why We Cosleep - That Mama Gretchen’s husband chimes in on why cosleeping is a benefit to their family.
  • Adding to the Family Bed - Darah at A Girl Named Gus writes about her co-sleeping journey and what happens when a second child comes along.

A big thank you to all of the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival participants!


  1. it is the same here, we let the kids decide what is best for them...
    me too I like to cuddle with hubby and like that there is somebody next to me so why should I say no to my kids...
    my daughter is 4 and changes her mind still quite often. She might sleep the whole night in her won room and bed, move during the night or decide to just sleep in ours from the beginning
    they grow so quickly and before you know it they are happy to have their own space :)

    the little boy is in his cot in our room... and soon we will see what are his preferences...

  2. I've co/slept with all 3 of mine, the go into beds when they are ready and when they need to they come back with us, we're easy about it and have no issues with "you must be in your room"

    I joked with someone once about how when they are teenagers they won't be in our beds will they and she said "oh my 21yr old regularly hops into my bed" ARGH LOL

    Oh just seen you're Turkish (my husband is Turkish :)

  3. Glad it's worked out well for you! At the moment our baby's doing half the night in her cot and the other half in our bed. I think we've come round to the idea of co-sleeping but our bed is just too small for it to be comfortable!

  4. Amazing how they are just suddenly ready for it, isn't it? Don't be surprised if you get a little regression every now and then, though - a little 'check back' that they can still come into your bed when they want to :)

    Actually, I love those regressions! Really special!

  5. i'm so glad i read that - we co-sleep and you're right, i do worry that he will never be able to sleep alone (mostly the doubt has been planted by others).

    My son is only 1.5 so i will stop worrying for another 3 years or so :)

  6. we're proud co-sleepers and have found that, I reckon because they are more secure from knowing that they can co-sleep, that they will happily sleep in their beds most of the time - when they're ill or unhappy they're in with us and its great

    Only trouble is that once they start co-sleeping less often is you have to remind them of the rules of bedsharing, aka don't kick Mummy in the middle of the night or she gets grumpy

  7. Thanks for all the comments.
    @Circusqueen, we have a bedside cot which is fantastic. If you have space in your bedroom,you might consider that.

  8. Ah, that must be so bittersweet! I have been starting my toddler off in her bed for several months now, and bringing her back to bed with me at her first wake-up. This used to mean three hours or so of solo sleep for her, but lately that's getting longer and I miss her, too!

  9. We are co-sleepers too. DD recently said she wanted to move into her room, so I am in there with her too. When she's ready to stay in there alone, I'll move out but I do love the warmth of her little arms around me and the smiles when she wakes up. I miss co-sleeping with DS who is 5 and do take anynopportunity to pop in with him for a snuggle too :-)


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